Child of God

While I was contemplating the reasons why I smoked and continued to do so for so many years and why I don't see that it is important to take care of my body, I came to the conclusion that I don't have very high self-esteem. As I studied what the bible has to say about self-esteem I realized that having high self -esteem isn't necessarily something that I should be trying to obtain! There are actually benefits to having low self-esteem that are biblical such as humility. Also, as a christian I know that I need to be reminded daily of how short I fall and that I am still a sinner. Without this constant realization, I tend to forget my need for a savior. I found and article that described "proper" christian self-esteem as being known by the following:

• I am chosen by God
  
• Redeemed by the precious blood of Jesus Christ
  
• Regenerated and indwelt by the holy spirit a new creation in Christ
  
• Justified by faith and therefore accepted by God
  
• Adopted by God and an heir
  
• Sanctified
  
• Destined for glory

Is Good Self-esteem Important for a Christian and How is it Developed? David Englelsma http://www.prca.org/pamphlets/pamplet_57.html

There are many verses that support the above and one that come to mind is as follows:

Romans 8:16-17 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs - heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his suffering in order that we may share in his glory. Romans 8:16-17

I needed to be reminded of my inheritance today so I could live like a child of the King . . . how about you?

Freedom

It was appropriate for it to be Fourth of July weekend a celebration of our country's freedom the first weekend of my freedom from smoking. If you've never smoked, you may not understand how one becomes bound to smoking. In many ways you become a slave to it. You can be working on something or enjoying a moment and your body will begin to demand that you step away to smoke. So, I am now celebrating freedom from this bondage in my life. The physical cravings are gone. Now, I am left with a battle of my mind. I need to constantly remind myself of my new identity as a non-smoker. I have also been reminded again of my freedom in Christ.

Galatians 5:1 It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1

I stayed very busy this weekend and that helped tremendously. It was also helpful to be surrounded by my non-smoking friends who have been encouraging me along the way. Friday night was the worst. We were let out early from work and I came home with no real plans. I drove to the salon to get my haircut forgetting that it was Thursday and my hair dresser is off on Thursdays. I came home and payed bills only to realize that I was once again all but broke and then RJ screamed his way through my attempt at a nap. I got up and chewed the one and only piece of Nicorette that I have had so far. I didn't feel like it helped that much and I wasn't too keen on trading up on addiction for another.

The straw that broke my back was RJ learning once again how to get out of his cage. I would get him back in and he'd get right back out. Now this has happened in the past and at one point I had purchased a lock for the cage. That lock however was no longer operational - something happened to it when I took him to the bird store while I was away on vacation. I was looking for cable ties to secure the cage so I could go and purchase a new lock. It took me awhile to find them, but I finally did. I secured the cage with several and he chewed through all but one before I returned home. Shelly called during all this and that helped me get through it and then Shannon and her family went with me to shop for the new lock.

Friday, I hung out at home and worked on the new blog. In the evening I went to Freedom Fest. It was right in Pinellas Park. They had several christian bands performing with Big Daddy Weave as the headliners. There were fireworks to finish that off. Afterwards, I went to see the new Ice Age movie with my friend Noreen and her girls. We shared a big thing of popcorn which served as my late dinner. Saturday, I hung out with Maria and Terry in St Pete and then met Shannon and the family for more fireworks. Sunday, I had Cousin Steve and the kids to the pool and a little later Shannon and the fam joined us. Shannon and the fam let me tag along for dinner and a walk at Johns Pass. All in all, it was a nice weekend. I did miss being at the Hull's though. It was strange not to be there. I am looking forward to being there later this month.

I will close this post with one other scripture that I found while contemplating my freedom this weekend. I hope that you had a wonderful Fourth of July weekend.

Romans 8:1-2 Therefore, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life sets me free from the law of sin and death. Romans 8:1-2

The Journey that Brought me Here

Right now, I am starting so many new things in my life that starting a new blog felt appropriate. My previous blog focused mostly on the day to day and was a nice way to keep those who live further away connected with me. I've struggled with keeping up with it though and I think that a lot of that has to do with feeling like evverything that I was writing was so trivial. I hope to make this blog more that just a report of my day to day but also a record of my faith and what God is doing in my life for that is far less trivial.

It's been over four years since my husband passed away. In many ways they have been four very long years. I've struggled with finding my new identity without him in my life. I am so thankful that I knew Jesus before I started on this journey. As difficult as it has been, I have always had hope that comes through my faith. I also have the assurance of my idenity in Christ which I know that I will never lose. When I think of those who have to go through similar experiences without that hope, I don't know how they survive. I have however finally come to a place where I recognize areas of my life that I have not given fully into God's hands. I have been so stubborn. Despite being told through his Word that I am worth it. I have told myself time and time again that I am not.

Psalm 139:13-16 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:13-16

The one area of my life that I struggle the most with this is my health. I've not taken care of my body.

1 Corinthians 3:16-17 Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's spirit lives in you? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him; for God's temple is sacred, and you are that temple. 1 Corinthians 3:16-17

I am taking steps now with God's help to work on this area of my life. Please pray for me as I attempt to quit smoking. It has been two and a half days so far. By far, it is one of the most difficult things that I have ever done. I know that my God is strong and mighty and that he will deliver me from this because I have asked him to.

Several things have been on my mind over the last several years including having a child of my own, serving through world missions, a career, falling in love again. I have prayed for the Lord to show me his will for my life. Until recently, not many doors have opened in any of the above areas. That has left me feeling like me life has been in a holding pattern. Our church is taking a mission trip to Costa Rica in December. After several doors were open for me regarding this trip and through prayerful consideration, I have taken a step of faith and joined the team that will be going. I will be sharing about the preparations for the trip here, so keep checking back for updates.